The Façade
by cluvieldor
Summary: One shot. Astrid wanted what any other kid did, be themselves. But after Petey's birth everything changed and suddenly the pressure of being the perfect child became too much. Set after plague.


_**Astrid Ellison**__**  
><strong>_This is a bit long. You've been warned.

Human kind were predictable in so many ways, yet people were so hard to comprehend. They would never be satisfied with what you got to offer. And Astrid knew what that felt like ever since she could remember.

Astrid was known to people as a genius, someone who was always calm in difficult times, someone whose composure would be serene when faced a storm, who had the patience of a saint. That was the façade people saw.

Astrid Ellison knew she was far from perfect.

Kids in the FAYZ didn't know what being _Astrid_ was. They didn't understand her, which was fine by her hence she didn't understand half the people living in a dome, but at least she tried.

They all judged her when all she wanted was to do things right.

One of the things people didn't know was _why Astrid was such a know it all_. Astrid guessed she could've told anyone about it, even Sam, but no one shared their secrets and fears. Those are dangerous weapons in the wrong hands.

Astrid remembered when the doctors diagnosed Peter as an autistic child, they told them that what he had was a neurological disorder and he'd have a social impairment. Astrid researched everything about autism and was glad when she found the information about Temple Grandin. The woman had high-functioning autism, nevertheless, she designed livestock facilities and was a Professor of Animal Science at CSU. She was one of the most famous and smartest autistic persons in the U.S.

She saw a bright future ahead of Petey.

But Astrid Ellison failed to notice, or she purposely avoided, this one little detail.

Petey's lack of social interaction and disinterest of it.

It hurt to see how her mother tried to teach Petey's simple words such as "_mom_" and get no response. What hurt the most, though, was seeing her hold Petey in her arms so tightly he might break and Petey went limp, without returning affection.

Astrid loved her mom to pieces, she came up with this idea. A really great and stupid idea.

_Be perfect._

Her actions could and would be misunderstood if she ever told anyone with a closed mind.

Astrid knew there was a high possibility that Petey wouldn't develop his social skills to his intellectual skills level anytime soon, she knew he was smart, but it seemed Petey would rather eat a rock than have a normal conversation with someone. So how could he get through high schook? Get a diploma? Become a physician or a nuclear engineer like their dad?

So Astrid did everything she could to be an A+ student, to make her parents proud. To balance the unfairness in their lifes. She wanted to make her parents' lifes easier, to make them not worry about her and focus on Petey. She promised God and herself she wouldn't do drugs or alcohol, she cringed inwardly if she pictured that scenario and her mom and dad finding out.

She was a nice person, humble, with a good heart. So whenever someone needed help, she'd gladly do it. Like the time when she tutored Charles. She helped her mom with the household duties and helped her teaching Petey new words.

There were times when she wanted to lash out at people, specially those who mocked her and her brother, she wanted to make them hurt. But she prayed God for patience and strength. She had promised herself she would never have a fight with someone. Dialogue should always come first. _Look at what the world has come to due to all the fighting and wars around the globe_, her mom would say.

But the most strangest thing happened.

The FAYZ.

The horrible dome that caused Astrid's façade to crack, slowly but surely.

Astrid felt the presure of the world in her back. The first thing she wanted to do was scream and break the wall with all the force that had built up within her for fourteen years.

But she would refuse to act like an animal in front of others. Plus, someone had to take care of Petey. Her brother didn't need a crazy person looking after him. So, at fourteen years old, Astrid's world changed on its axis.

What did _you_ do when you were fourteen years old? Sleep, get up to watch tv, get on the internet, have fun with friends, eat all the food you could get into your mouth and stomach, you could be lazy all day and have no responsabilities other than study for exams.

Astrid had to be like a mother for Petey at fourteen, she had to take care of an autistic child who would sometimes cooperate with her if she was lucky; there was chaos around her, kids yelling and fighting, the Human Crew, the hunger everyone felt, the despair... her patience was getting thinner and thinner as each day passed.

She often wondered why human kind would do horrible things to obtain power? Murdering kids at such a young age, she didn't want any of that anymore. Why couldn't people have a conversation without fighting and yelling, to seek peace and welfare? Astrid had come up with the idea of the council, she had been sure people would try and work together, it didn't look like the wall was coming down anytime soon, so why not be and do the best they could?

And then she did one mistake, several mistakes actually, and people wanted to hang her. Astrid knew it hadn't been the right thing to do, but it had been necessary. Mary almost jumped off with the littles! No one knew what happened if you killed yourself in the fayz, but Astrid knew it wasn't pretty. Later on, she recognized that she could've handled things better at that time. But she was only human.

In the fayz, people had double standards. The other kids were allowed to be selfish, make mistakes and not being punished, but if Astrid did one mistake everyone wanted to burn her alive.

Astrid really thought she could handle all of it. _Such a fool_. No fifteen year old could handle the things she did and the things she wanted. Because when Petey's gameboy broke, when he screamed and the wall came down, something horribly wrong began to flower in Astrid.

She was like dynamite. Like one big ticking time bomb ready to explode. It was as if ever since the fayz happened, since the hunger, since the killings of innocent children, the detonating cord in Astrid ignited itself. And the bomb finally exploded after seeing for the first time in months, adults, _real_ adults, when Petey let the wall come down for mere seconds.

And when she threw her brother with the intentions of killing him so she could save hundred of kids, when the wall didn't came down but her brother disappeared along with the bugs...

Astrid's world finally cracked.

She had fooled herself into thinking that a fifteen year old could handle so much pressure without breaking in half. The night Petey disappeared, Astrid let go of all the emotions she had bottled up for so long.

After Astrid left Perdido Beach, after she left her friends and boyfriend sitting in the plaza, Astrid finally remembered something.

The poem she had loved so much and forgotten so soon from church.

She remembered bits and pieces of it, but the message had never been so clear to her until now.

She had asked God for patience and he placed her in situations where she had been forced to wait. Because patience wasn't granted, it was earned.

She had asked God for strength and he gave her difficulties to make her strong.

And so, Astrid gathered her pocket-knife and bottled water, her blonde dirty hair in a high ponytail, and headed to the lake where she knew Sam and the rest would be at.

Astrid would apologize, not only to him but to everyone. Admitting your own mistakes made you stronger and better. And she would stop hiding behind closed doors like before, she had Petey to take care of, but now, she would come out and fight along with them.

If Petey was really dead, she'd do what needed to be done.

Take revenge.

If the opportunity presented itself again, she'd gladly go one-on-one with _it_, the darkness. She regretted not hitting Drake back when she slapped her, regretted not pressing Nerezza's windpipe harder.

But those were mistakes that had lead her to where she is now.

She'd been reborn so to speak. She now had the strength and knowledge she needed and wanted.

Astrid knew God wouldn't be proud of the acts she'd have to perform, but this was a new world.

And Astrid Ellison was ready to fight back.


End file.
